Not in my view, but in the view of users of www.matthewmayer.co.uk
Do you agree?
100. Wispa Mint
99. Double Decker
98. Time Out Orange
97. Nobble
96. Maverick
95. Twix Mint
94. Galaxy Hazelnut
93. Bournville
92. Galaxy Liaison
91. Topic
90. Caramac
89. Wonka Xploder
88. Mr Big - clearly not big enough
87. Wispa Bite
86. Mars Dark & White
85. Picnic
84. Toblerone White
83. Time Out Bar
82. Thorntons Orange Jazz
81. Thorntons Fudge Blues
80. Nuts About Caramel - you obviously weren't
79. Snickers Cruncher
78. Ripple
77. Bueno - WOW! It's crunchy - and creamy! The world's most annoying advert.
76. Milky Lunch
75. Nuts About Caramel Double Chocolate
74. Milky Bar Chunky
73. Spira
72. Milky Way Crispy Rolls
71. Wispa Gold
70. Mega
69. Milky Bar Choo
68. Peppermint Cream
67. Mega Munch
66. KitKat Orange
65. Turkish Delight
64. Crunch
63. KitKat Mint
62. Yorkie Nut
61. Drifter
60. Galaxy Caramel Double Chocolate
59. Aero Orange
58. Excellence Dark
57. Dubble
56. Aero Mint Chunky
55. Dime - armadillos!
54. Dairy Milk Orange
53. Crunch White
52. Whole Nut
51. Chocolate Cream
And now time for a short commercial break, as we enter the top 50. There's just time to mention a few of the bars that didn't make it into our top 100. Where was Pnut? Why did the shamelessly commercial Westlife bar fail to make the grade? Who did not vote for Sainsburys Tipsy Orange Indulgence? Never mind, it's on with the show...
50. Milk Chocolate Honeycomb
49. KitKat Dark
48. Caramel Whip
47. Bounty Plain
46. Aztec 2000 - but it didn't make it Inca the top 20
45. Aero Snow
44. Excellence Milk
43. KitKat Chunky Orange
42. Yorkie Honeycomb
41. Reeses Cups
40. Milky Way 2
39. Milka
38. Galaxy Caramel
37. Echo
36. Chomp
35. Aero Chunky
34. Aero Cappuccino
33. SnowFlake
32. Snickers
31. Galaxy - No, I'm not doing a Milky Way joke
30. Fruit & Nut - Everyone's a fruit and nut case
29. Crunchie Explosion - But even more of you are Crunchie Explosion cases
28. Chocolate Orange Bar
27. Bitz Mint
26. Aero Honeycomb
25. Toffee Crisp
24. Milky Bar - The Milky bars are on you. I'm not paying for a bunch of strangers to eat my chocolate.
23. Fuse
22. Curly Wurly
21. Bounty Milk
20. Yorkie Raisin
19. Wispa - Shhh
18. Twix
17. Twirl
16. Time Out
15. Milky Way
14. Crunchie
13. Yorkie
12. Boost
11. Lion - Pride of chocolate bars
And so we enter the final straight, the ten greatest chocolate bars...
10. KitKat
Have a break...
9. Caramel
Smooth
8. Aero Mint
Those bubbles have my vote
7. Fudge
Clearly you can all only afford a 19p chocolate bar
6. Mars
A poor performance for one of the front-runners
5. Aero
The bubbles make a second appearance in the top 10!
4. Toblerone
Einstein patented the Toblerone's shape. So it must be good.
3. Flake
I'll have a 99 please.
2. Dairy Milk
Mmmmmm. Chocolate...
So what is the greatest chocolate bar, as voted for by you. It may come as something of a suprise that it's quite a new bar on the market, but I agree entirely with your decision. You voted for...
Drum roll...
Dramatic music...
Someone in the audience faints...
The curtains quiver...
The person sitting next to you says 'I bet it's a Mars Bar'...
Fanfare...
The lights go up to reveal...
Obviously everyone's taste is different, but the KitKat Chunky in the top spot? No way. I'm also shocked to see Thornton's Orange Jazz get higher than Picnic and Double Decker, and how Crunchie Explosion and Aero Cappucino did so well baffles me. I'm also guessing Yorkie's high placing owes more to nostalgia than its current state...
What are your thoughts?
It was definitely a poll - there was even a prize! Don't get too excited though; the winner only got one each of the top three bars!
Bars get five points for every first place, four for second and so on.
Cool, kind of like the Eurovision Song Contest.
I get the feeling many of the pollsters were fairly young, as they remember things like Wispa Gold, Nuts About Caramel, Maverick and Bitz, but there's no place for Fry's Five Centres or Goldencup.
KitKat Chunky? They are pure filth!
Oldspice, you're giving fuel to Bounty's fire!
Bounty went to the cupboard and saw the Kitkat Chunky. He knew he shouldn't, he knew it was wrong. But grappling with his conscience he grabbed the bar and tore of the wrapper thrusting the milky chocolate into his mouth, licking it off, not daring to bite.
Just at the moment, Oldspice walked through the door. BOUNTY! HOW COULD YOU? You dirty, disgusting, oh no NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A tear ran down Bounty's cheek, he knew he'd gone too far this time. He knew Oldspice wanted the KitKat chunky for her special chunky cheesecake she was baking for her daughter's birthday...
Bounty woke up. He looked at the clock, it was 2am and he had the nibbles. He crept downstairs and opened the fridge. And then he saw it. The last Mars Midnight. He knew BK had been saving it, but it was just sitting there waiting to eaten. Bounty picked it up and tore off the wrapper. He held the dark chocolate to his nose and sniffed. it was beautiful.
Suddenly the kitchen light came on.
'Black Knight, I can explain!'
Save yer excuses for the boss wee laddo!
Bounty was marched upstairs where Oldspice was on the landing holding a King size Yorkie bar. First the Kitkat chunky now this. When would he learn?
My uncle told me that when he was young he was told to get some Kitekat for the cat but instead returned home with a KItKat.
Better than the other way round!
"Just one more traingle", thought Bounty, snapping off a segment of the nougatine chocolate, "Loulou will never know".
It was a sultry Sunday afternoon and the chocolate was soft and warm, traces of it were smeared across Bounty's mouth and he licked his lips, savouring the distinctive taste.
Suddenly the front door went. Bounty panicked. He shoved the bar in to the bottom drawer of Lou's dvd collection. He pretended nothing had happened as Loulou walked in with arms full of condemned CDMs.
'Have you been at my Toblerone again Bounty?'
'No LouLou'.
'Then what's this?' Loulou pointed out several shards of silver wrapper, which were adhered to Bounty's T shirt.
'Bounty, if you're going to lie at least hide the evidence'. Oh well never mind, have a Cabana... have a Cabana...have a Cabana'.
As the words faded, Bounty woke up with a jolt. It had all been a dream.
bounty I much prefer these stories.
Yes, they're a great improvement! Where's the Golden Cup version please?
It was late afternoon, Bounty was bored. He'd watched all his repeats of the Banana Splits and wanted something to do. He felt peckish. He went to the fridge. Peanut Butter - no. Nutella - no. Marmite - yeah whatever. Just as he was about to close the door he saw something lurking at the back. What was that? He moved the jar of anchovies and... NO. it couldn't be, where in the name of Lindt did that come from? It was a bar of Golden Cup! He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
Just then Loulou and BK came home from mixed netball training. Hey you guys you're not going to believe what I've just found in the fridge!
'Och there's nae more Midnights you had the last one remember', said BK. 'Ooh do tell', said LouLou impatiently.
'Look!'
As Bounty brandished the bar their jaw droppd and GC came in the back door from the garden. Seeing Bounty with the bar she went bright red.
'Er, er I was meaning to tell you', she said awkwardly. 'I've got a load more upstairs, they're on special offer at Spar, they...
But the other three were gone. GC's bedroom was never quite the same after that.
Remember, you have just one day left to submit your Top Five UK bars of all time!
Not enough as far as I'm concerned. If any non-voters moan because their favourite bar doesn't make the list I shall wallop them one!
'Seventy three, seventy four, seventy five.. eh Bounty, you been at my Maltesers again?!' shouted Loulou.
'I was peckish', returned Bounty.
'How many times have I told you, ask before you touch my chocolate'.
'Er OK', you better have this lot back then'. Bounty emptied his coat pockets while Loulou, GC and Oldspice watched agaog.
A veritable waterfall of chocolate landed on the table including three Yorkies, a Kitkat and nine Mars bars.
'is that all mine? Asked Loulou.
'Yes I was gonna give it back but...'
'But what?'
'I did it for a bet, BK said I daren't sneak in your room and nick at least a dozen choc bars. He lost'
'Well you can just about go and take it back... and Bounty?'
'Yes Loulou?'
'Take my lipstick off Bounty'.
Lou wouldn't be seen dead eating a Yorkie and I don't think she likes Mars bars much either.
It should go more like this....
"Bounty" whispered Lou seductively.
"Yes Lou?"
"Take my dress off"
"Yes Lou".
"Bounty" (breathily)
"yes, Lou?"
"Take my underwear off"
"Yes Lou!!!"
"And Bounty"
"Yes Lou??"
"Don't let me bloody well catch you wearing them again!!".
Can't remember if I replied or not!
You did
Lou wouldn't be seen dead eating a Yorkie and I don't think she likes Mars bars much either.
It should go more like this....
"Bounty" whispered Lou seductively.
"Yes Lou?"
"Take my dress off"
"Yes Lou".
"Bounty" (breathily)
"yes, Lou?"
"Take my underwear off"
"Yes Lou!!!"
"And Bounty"
"Yes Lou??"
"Don't let me bloody well catch you wearing them again!!".
You mean Bounty is more likely to get caught wearing your dress/underwear than you are to eat a Yorkie??
I think there is more chance of Bounty and dresses than ME eating a !
Oh Yes?
Paulham the other one!