Chocolate Forum

Chat => General => Topic started by: wjp666 on October 07, 2011, 01:40:39 pm

Title: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 07, 2011, 01:40:39 pm: come on, we all get them on our phones every time something newsworthy happens... sometimes mere minutes after the said event. here is a thread dedicated to all those busy minds in the world who use the power of text to circulate their wisdom. i'll start (i received this just a minute ago):

Just saw Kevin Webster in his garage, working on a 14 year old Escort.

not bad. i'd give it a 6/10
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: oldspice on October 08, 2011, 08:31:19 am: A few months back, there was a terrible one about Amy Winehouse, Bernard Matthews and cold turkey.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 08, 2011, 02:43:04 pm: i think i can connect the dots on that one.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: Forth Bridges on October 09, 2011, 10:00:17 pm: YOU ASKED FOR THIS:

* What have Amy Winehouse and Bernard Matthews got in common? No cold turkey this Christmas.

* Forensic Police in the UK report that Amy Winehouse is not dead. They report that when they drew a line around her body - she rose up and snorted it!

* Unfortunately Amy Winehouse's parents have been told they can't keep her ashes as they would be possession of a Class A drug.

* For all those who are making jokes about Amy Winehouse, please form a line, It's what she would have wanted.

* What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and a moped? A moped can reach 30!

===========KEVIN=====================

* What's black and hangs out of a school girls knickers? Kevin Webster's moustache.

* Poor Kevin Webster is innocent. I don't think he had sex with that 6 year old. she's just after his lottery winnings.

* I think Kevin Webster got the wrong end of the stick when he was asked to do children in need.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: oldspice on October 10, 2011, 06:44:59 am: Oh dear. I wish I hadn't read those.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 10, 2011, 03:23:38 pm: oh dear me. what have i started.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: chocolate chick on October 11, 2011, 11:31:28 am: I dissapprove of these a lot - they are in such bad taste and who sits and thinks them up??
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 11, 2011, 09:45:48 pm: i average on receiving about 20 a day during catastrophes.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: goldencup on October 12, 2011, 08:13:35 am: I think I get about ten a day - I'm always amazed how quickly they start appearing after the event!
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: chocolate chick on October 12, 2011, 08:56:05 am: They are like straight after the event - someone has a quick mind
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: Forth Bridges on October 15, 2011, 11:58:20 pm: I never GET any, and thats the truth, mmmm I have to wonder who your friends are like ;)
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 17, 2011, 11:26:09 am: my friends are all demented.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: smurfboy on October 17, 2011, 01:19:49 pm: Paul McCartney is already regretting remarrying from what I've heard. Apparently his new wife spends twice as much on shoes as the last one.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: chocolate chick on October 17, 2011, 01:58:19 pm: That one is quite funny though....
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: loulou on October 17, 2011, 07:33:54 pm: Yeah i like that one smurfy but 623 your jokes are disturbing..
It's not right them naming kevin webster when he hasn't been found guilty yet.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: oldspice on October 18, 2011, 06:53:40 am: Quote from: loulou on October 17, 2011, 07:33:54 pm
Yeah i like that one smurfy but 623 your jokes are disturbing..
It's not right them naming kevin webster when he hasn't been found guilty yet.

Not only that, but child abuse is in no way amusing.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 18, 2011, 09:13:45 pm: just for the record, when i put the kevin webster joke i received on here it was suspected to be a statutory thing (consenting teenager etc.): now we know it involves a 6 year old i fell kinda bad for bringing it up atall.
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: Forth Bridges on October 18, 2011, 11:27:35 pm: Quote from: 623058 on October 09, 2011, 10:00:17 pm
YOU ASKED FOR THIS:

I did say the above, I understand what been said, but its out there and all have done is piece it...... I never had these on my phone etc there come from Google!
Title: Re: Topical Jokes
Post by: wjp666 on October 19, 2011, 02:35:23 pm: 623 - are you trying to say that you're the one behind all these jokes? do you sit there and make them up all day?