Chocolate Forum

Chat => General => Topic started by: bounty hunter on October 03, 2008, 07:53:36 pm

Title: Have I been had?
Post by: bounty hunter on October 03, 2008, 07:53:36 pm

Saw advert in local paper for 'amazing weather stone', only £9.99.  Apparently allows you tell the weather at any time and is more accurate than wall barometer or pine cone.  I thought it sounded OK, so I sent away for it and it came today.  It's a grey stone about the size of a snooker ball, drilled in one end with a thin bit of rope and a hook.  With it came the following instructions:

Hang stone outside on hook. 
Stone dry - sunny
Stone wet - raining
Stone white on top - snowing
Stone swaying - windy
Can't see stone - very foggy
Stone trembling - earthquake
Stone gone - hurricane

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: oldspice on October 04, 2008, 09:29:49 am

Well Bounty, either you've been had big time or I've been had for believing you!

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: drterror666 on October 06, 2008, 09:49:59 am

Is it April already? ;)

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: davidc on October 06, 2008, 06:59:59 pm

I saw a Morrison's ad, bought some had.
But it had passed it best before date.
I had been had with bad had!

Just seeing how many times I can use had or ad in one paragraph.

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: loulou on October 06, 2008, 08:38:36 pm

Would be slightly better if it made sense.

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: oldspice on October 07, 2008, 07:07:10 am

Yes, I had to read it several times but gave up trying to work out what it meant. I put it down to my senior old brain.

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: davidc on October 08, 2008, 05:57:20 pm

I'll translate it:

I saw a Morrisons advert, so bought some haddock (they sell fish at Morrisons).
But it had passed it's best before date.
I had been had with haddock.

(The had is short for haddock where it refers to a fish)

Hmm, I wonder if anyone can understand a poem I did years ago:

[bThe Broons Paint The Town Red/Thae Broons Pent The Toon Red (Whichever one you can understand you can call it!)[/b]

"We're aff tae pent thae toon red"
Is whit we said
Before the bairns went tae bed
"Can we come too?"
"Naw, no' you,"
You're ower young,
Us auld folks are aff tae hae all thae fun!"
We closed the door behind us,
Who'd hae kids remind us!

We arrived at the nichtclub at gone eleven,
We're usually in bed no' lang past seven!
Wi' a pretty lass Paw was flirting,
But soon he was hurting,
For ma caught him in the act,
An' walloped him wi' her bag!

All too soon it was time tae leave fer hame
Still, we were glad we came
But then thae lad known as 'Oor Wullie'
Had been awfy silly
He'd been pentin' his gang's shed
An' than aff he'd gone tae bed
How were we tae ken the silly wee chap had left the bucket o' pent in oor path?
Still, Granpaw thoucht it was a guid laugh!
I swear, if he wasna so auld,
we would hae punched him on thae nose!

Anyway, aff we went back tae Glebe Street,
We had pent in oor hair, pent on oor feet
We were in dispair,
Pent was everywhere!

The bairns were waiting up,
Just oor luck!
How they laughed tae see pent on oor heids,
"My, ye really did pent thae toon red!"

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: paulham on October 09, 2008, 07:38:47 pm

It's a sair fecht fur a hauf loaf!

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: loulou on October 10, 2008, 09:04:32 am

two sandwiches short of a picnic?

Title: Re: Have I been had?
Post by: drterror666 on October 10, 2008, 10:06:54 am

Quote from: davidc on October 08, 2008, 05:57:20 pm

Hmm, I wonder if anyone can understand a poem I did years ago

davidc, you're a wee bampot! ;)