Post by: on February 25, 2005, 08:09:48 pm
1. The police describing ungritted roads as 'treacherous'.
2. Film critics describing films as 'visually beautiful'.
3. Restaurants serving 'seasonal vegetables'.
4. People who write 'which' when they should write 'that'.
Post by: on February 25, 2005, 08:13:49 pm
Those with no manners, as discussed on The Jeremy Vine show BBC Radio 2 today.
Walk right past ignoring you as you hold a door open for them.
Abuse you if you offer up your seat on bus/train.
Shop assistants who ignore you completely as they serve you (quite a skilled art I suppose).
Do not say please or thank you as being served/serving.
Post by: loulou on February 25, 2005, 09:16:21 pm
Post by: goldencup on February 25, 2005, 09:32:21 pm
Post by: loulou on February 25, 2005, 10:21:19 pm
Something else that annoys me is when the assistant doesn't offer me a bag. Sometimes i say "shall i just put these in my pocket"
Greggs bakers are worst for that here. They pass over hot pies in a paper bag and say "careful they are hot, fresh from the oven" then i ask for a carrier bag and they tut.
I also agree with paulham about the opening a door for someone and they walk straight through with no thankyou as if i am the butler.
Post by: salsa on February 25, 2005, 11:41:57 pm
Post by: on February 26, 2005, 08:34:03 am
I am annoyed by the word 'workshop' when not used in the context of light engineering. Like the other day, the woman at the bus stop said she was going to a fantasy fiction writing workshop. Why can't they say day school or something.
Post by: on February 26, 2005, 08:36:19 am
Post by: oldspice on February 26, 2005, 10:29:07 am
Students who arrive at my lesson with a HUGE bag but no pen annoy me. Yesterday, I was helping in a maths lesson. None of the students had a pen, pencil or ruler!
Shop assistants who carry on a conversation whilst serving annoy me too.
People who park on pavements and completely block the path make me want to smash their cars to pieces.
Cold callers who phone me at 6.30pm and ask me personal questions about my home sometimes get an ear bashing if I'm in the right mood.
People who put Kleeneasy catalogues through my door but never collect them from the doorstep get on my nerves.
Post by: goldencup on February 26, 2005, 01:55:45 pm
Post by: salsa on February 26, 2005, 03:30:51 pm
Post by: on February 26, 2005, 03:42:00 pm
Post by: salsa on February 26, 2005, 04:14:39 pm
lol, kiss my arse :P ;)
j/k
Post by: loulou on February 26, 2005, 10:00:05 pm
Post by: oldspice on February 26, 2005, 10:08:22 pm
Post by: salsa on February 26, 2005, 10:48:57 pm
Post by: baby on February 27, 2005, 10:44:27 am
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 12:49:50 pm
Post by: roxy on February 27, 2005, 01:05:15 pm
Buying (and then eating) bad chocolate (a crime is being committed, I'm just not sure by whom...)
Loud phone-talkers (cell yells, as we like to call them). I would literally mute them if I could.
Nature calling in the middle of the night (and you can't get the machine to answer, can you?)
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 01:26:31 pm
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 02:05:45 pm
Nature calling in the middle of the night (and you can't get the machine to answer, can you?)
What?????????????
Post by: roxy on February 27, 2005, 02:58:35 pm
- sh*te chocolate
- Headache
- Late-night pee
Dig that?
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 03:22:51 pm
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 03:24:16 pm
That's funny.
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 03:40:20 pm
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 03:41:03 pm
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 03:41:48 pm
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 03:42:44 pm
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 03:48:32 pm
Post by: loulou on February 27, 2005, 03:55:41 pm
Post by: salsa on February 27, 2005, 04:36:40 pm
Ive known men to want a taxi, :)
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 06:21:27 pm
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 07:46:47 pm
I always want to wee when i've made love.
For me it's "wahey!".
Keep an empty glass by the bed side. If you get thirsty even later in the night - ta da!
Post by: salsa on February 27, 2005, 07:47:39 pm
You ARE Jo Brand!
Nope, im younger and mingier.
Post by: on February 27, 2005, 07:49:07 pm
Post by: salsa on February 27, 2005, 07:50:02 pm
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on February 28, 2005, 08:50:52 am
I sat an exam on Saturday. On the letter I was sent confirming the date, time and venue it said "BRING A PEN WITH YOU" - so I did.
When I got there, we were told the answer forms (which vaguely resembled National Lottery forms) were to be completed in pencil, and did we all remember to bring a pencil and eraser?
The exam administrator then tutted at us all because we did not bring pencils and erasers and she had to go find some.
Post by: smurfboy on February 28, 2005, 09:38:00 am
1) The fact that my gym is supposed to close at 10.30pm, but they start turning the music and TV screens off at 9.45 so they can try and push you out by ten.
2) Shop assistants, or indeed anyone in the service industry, who acts like they're doing you some kind of favour by doing their job. Or worse, the ones who start saying 'I don't have to put up with abuse' if you criticise them for cocking up.
3) Jo Whiley.
4) People who tell you to 'chill' when it should be obvious you're about to snap.
5) People (usually irritating teens) who use the word 'random' to describe everything they think isn't fantastic - and probably don't know what random actually means at all.
6) Anyone who makes a big fuss about something being 'urgent' when it clearly isn't.
7) Americanisms.
8) People who put EVERYTHING into the present tense; e.g. the bloke in H&M the other day looking at a jumper and saying 'I'm liking this a lot' - as if he might suddenly stop in a few hours.
I know I have more, I just can't think at the mo!
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on February 28, 2005, 09:40:48 am
Post by: chocolate chick on February 28, 2005, 10:45:02 am
Shop assistants not doing what they are paid for! I went into a Tesco express last week and I went to the express lane. The checkouts are set out in such a way that you put your basket in the slot, they ring up the items and bag them. The bags are to their right hand side and are positioned so the customer can't reach the bags as they are suposed to pack the bag for you. I took my items to the till, he rang them up, I paid, and my shopping was still sitting there unpacked. I reached over, took the bag and said, I'll pack it shall I!
You wouldn't get that behaviour in M&S
Post by: smurfboy on February 28, 2005, 10:49:23 am
I like Jo Whiley, why don't you smurfboy
I find her very sycophantic. She really kisses arse to some of the people she has on the show, and I just can't stand the whole 'love in' thing. The other day she had Snoop Dogg on and people were actually texting in to 'apologise' for the fact that he had a bottle thrown at him at a gig. Has he apologised for all his homophobic comments and criminal behaviour over the years?
BTW, before anyone asks 'why do you listen if you don't like her?' it's because we have it on at work.
Post by: goldencup on February 28, 2005, 10:51:19 am
Post by: robbie on February 28, 2005, 11:58:00 am
Post by: chocolate chick on February 28, 2005, 12:03:39 pm
Post by: smurfboy on February 28, 2005, 01:12:49 pm
Post by: chocolate chick on February 28, 2005, 01:43:40 pm
Post by: smurfboy on February 28, 2005, 03:58:46 pm
Today has been a good day as a) Jo Whiley was on holiday and b) The irritating nerd who insists on singing tunelessly to the radio is off sick. Jackpot!
Post by: chocolate chick on February 28, 2005, 04:22:50 pm
Post by: salsa on February 28, 2005, 05:04:31 pm
Post by: loulou on February 28, 2005, 08:59:15 pm
Post by: loulou on February 28, 2005, 09:01:24 pm
You wouldn't get that behaviour in M&S
So true. In Whitley bay's M&S there's a sign saying feel free to ask an assistant to carry your shopping to your car.
Post by: salsa on March 01, 2005, 12:13:02 am
Post by: loulou on March 01, 2005, 12:33:10 am
Post by: smurfboy on March 01, 2005, 09:20:09 am
What was it her Bo Selecta puppet used to say? 'Tits for the telly, face for the radio!'
Actually as unbelievable as this might sound, she used to be a model - I have a friend who is a photographer and he has a very old publicity shot of her in his studio.
Post by: robbie on March 01, 2005, 12:08:53 pm
Post by: loulou on March 01, 2005, 01:50:10 pm
Post by: smurfboy on March 01, 2005, 01:54:13 pm
Post by: roxy on March 01, 2005, 02:28:01 pm
Post by: loulou on March 01, 2005, 03:07:49 pm
Post by: salsa on March 01, 2005, 05:11:09 pm
Post by: oldspice on March 01, 2005, 05:21:48 pm
Post by: salsa on March 01, 2005, 06:26:42 pm
Nope, but I like Radio 2
/me hangs her head in shame
Post by: on March 01, 2005, 07:44:32 pm
I don't know any of these people. Doesn't anyone listen to Radio Four?
I do, but then like you I have class.
Post by: loulou on March 01, 2005, 08:38:07 pm
Post by: salsa on March 01, 2005, 09:06:07 pm
Post by: roxy on March 01, 2005, 10:13:29 pm
Post by: salsa on March 01, 2005, 10:25:18 pm
Post by: goldencup on March 01, 2005, 11:34:27 pm
Post by: roxy on March 02, 2005, 12:38:53 am
Post by: chocolate chick on March 02, 2005, 10:03:49 am
Quote from: chocolate chickYou wouldn't get that behaviour in M&S
So true. In Whitley bay's M&S there's a sign saying feel free to ask an assistant to carry your shopping to your car.
Exactly. In the M&S near me they can't be more helpful, they say hello, pack your bag and say goodbye. I am sure it's not the case the all Tesco's that staff are like that but the odd one puts you off.
Post by: chocolate chick on March 02, 2005, 10:04:13 am
Post by: salsa on March 02, 2005, 06:31:33 pm
Post by: on March 02, 2005, 07:55:13 pm
Other things that annoy me are certain things people say, such as
"There's always one" (It's normally me)
"You've got more on the floor than you have in your mouth" (OK I'm a messy eater; and no I haven't.)
"It's the exception that proves the rule". (No it isn't and it doesn't.)
"It would be cheap at the half the price". (Surely they mean twice the price.)
Post by: salsa on March 02, 2005, 08:35:19 pm
Post by: kevvosa on March 02, 2005, 09:31:39 pm
the other day and said "for god sake!" as if it was his fault.
Post by: salsa on March 02, 2005, 09:34:27 pm
Post by: kevvosa on March 02, 2005, 09:35:48 pm
Post by: loulou on March 03, 2005, 08:28:02 am
I want to add door to door canvassers and those telephone sales to my list. If I wanted a fitted kitchen/double glazing/power shower/house insurance/car insurance/life insurance/power shower/holiday home in Spain I wouldn't be buying it from a dodgy looking bloke in an oversized suit knocking my door.
Also those people in shopping centres who pounce on you as you come out a shop and ask if they can send you a catalogue. And the ones who ask you if you have Sky or are happy with your gas/electric supplier and then promise they can give you it cheaper.
People who stand in supermarket doorways and rattle tins for charity then look at you evil because you don't give them anything.
Post by: smurfboy on March 03, 2005, 09:25:42 am
People who phone my office and try and sell me advertising space, even after I tell them I don't make that decision - 'but can't I just tell you a bit about our publication?' No! 
Ppl who tlk in txt msg spk on web an dnt no how 2 put fll stps n e where it drves me nutz
Post by: chocolate chick on March 03, 2005, 09:49:16 am
Post by: goldencup on March 03, 2005, 01:17:22 pm
'Nurse speak' annoys me - "Pop that on" "Slip that off", "Do (this or that) for me" as though you're doing them a special favour.
Post by: salsa on March 03, 2005, 04:41:41 pm
Although I suppose get your woobly ass out isnt going to win them any favours either
Post by: goldencup on March 04, 2005, 08:01:12 am
Post by: smurfboy on March 04, 2005, 09:26:48 am
Post by: goldencup on March 04, 2005, 11:37:04 am
Post by: smurfboy on March 04, 2005, 03:01:01 pm
Post by: chocolate chick on March 04, 2005, 03:07:57 pm
Post by: salsa on March 04, 2005, 04:45:39 pm
Some nurses are crap. But, some are excellent, gotta take the rough iwth the smooth.
Be nice or they will use a dirty needle.
Post by: oldspice on March 04, 2005, 08:41:56 pm
I had a blood test today and the nurse actually did say... "and pop your sleeve up and.........scratch!... that's right, all over now"
i thought she was going to give me a sticker!
At least she didn't say "Just a little prick" - like they used to!
Post by: salsa on March 04, 2005, 08:42:57 pm
Post by: goldencup on March 04, 2005, 08:59:52 pm
Post by: goldencup on March 04, 2005, 09:07:08 pm
Post by: oldspice on March 05, 2005, 09:08:14 am
The highest number of "nurse speak cliches" must happen when you have smear test. It's jump up here and pop those off and wiggle this and.... oh well I won't go on .....
Post by: loulou on March 05, 2005, 09:10:41 am
Post by: oldspice on March 05, 2005, 12:42:52 pm
Post by: goldencup on March 05, 2005, 12:47:26 pm
I've got mine in a couple of weeks, I'll have to bear all this in mind and keep my sense of humour!
Post by: on March 05, 2005, 01:20:02 pm
Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?
Post by: goldencup on March 05, 2005, 01:39:08 pm
No thank you, we'll leave that to the imagination! I thought that was an urban myth? What do they say then, "And, up....and down."
The interesting thing about this 'nurse speak' thing is that if all of us find it annoying and patronising, why are they trained to talk that way? Presumably there must be millions of people out there (not chocolate lovers) who find it all very reassuring?
Post by: salsa on March 05, 2005, 05:02:40 pm
Nah, the umberella thing is real. I have a friend who works in an sti clinic. The other week she was seeing to someone with the brolly and he just said stop im going to cum, and did :S
ewww
Post by: loulou on March 06, 2005, 12:04:21 am
Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?
How do you know about that then?
Post by: salsa on March 06, 2005, 08:26:21 am
everyone knows about that :)
Post by: oldspice on March 06, 2005, 10:17:29 am
Post by: loulou on March 06, 2005, 01:59:34 pm
Post by: salsa on March 06, 2005, 02:18:03 pm
the brolly is for boys, down their japs eye.
I personally would prefer cold metal to a brolly up my wee hole.
Talking of which there was once a website about a woman who got off on ureutha sex :S
Post by: on March 06, 2005, 07:50:41 pm
Quote from: paulham
Do you want us men to go into detail about the little "umbrellas" they use to clean the inside of you know who when you get certain kinds of STDs?
How do you know about that then?
We EHOs know lots of things.
They reuse the old umbrellas for ladies cocktails.
Honest, it's true!
Post by: loulou on March 06, 2005, 09:36:32 pm
I wouldn't be surprised.
Post by: goldencup on March 07, 2005, 12:02:31 am
Talking of which there was once a website about a woman who got off on ureutha sex :S
How on earth do you find these websites? On second thoughts don't tell me - I don't want to know!
Post by: salsa on March 07, 2005, 08:32:45 am
People send me links, I know alot of men who are deprived of sex.
Seriously, this woman gradually stretched it till she could be fisted there, it was not a pleasant read.
Post by: goldencup on March 07, 2005, 09:19:09 am
Post by: salsa on March 07, 2005, 09:23:00 am
Post by: goldencup on March 07, 2005, 10:30:35 am
Post by: chocolate chick on March 07, 2005, 10:56:22 am
I didn't think that umbrella thing was real. Not a nice thought!
Post by: salsa on March 07, 2005, 06:51:23 pm
Post by: on March 07, 2005, 07:10:21 pm
Yawn
Post by: on March 07, 2005, 07:50:37 pm
Bedtime?
Don't forget the Mogadon.
Post by: loulou on March 07, 2005, 11:31:24 pm
Post by: salsa on March 08, 2005, 08:21:03 am
Post by: goldencup on March 16, 2005, 03:33:56 pm
I've just noticed something else to add to the list, having had the day off from work and been reduced to watching the odd daytime TV programme (big mistake).
Why is it that on cookery programmes you now always have to cook/fry/bake things 'off'. Can't you just cook them, instead of cooking them off? Off what? Or does this have an additional meaning I'm not aware of?
Post by: smurfboy on March 16, 2005, 03:51:55 pm
I hadn't noticed until you said it, but you're right, they do all say that!
As far as I'm concerned, food should only ever be finished off!
Post by: roxy on March 16, 2005, 09:18:19 pm
Post by: loulou on March 16, 2005, 09:30:47 pm
Post by: roxy on March 16, 2005, 11:59:16 pm
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on March 17, 2005, 11:08:30 am
Post by: smurfboy on March 17, 2005, 11:12:01 am
Post by: loulou on March 17, 2005, 03:02:16 pm
Post by: smurfboy on March 17, 2005, 04:10:13 pm
Post by: on March 17, 2005, 07:30:57 pm
Post by: loulou on March 18, 2005, 10:22:37 am
Post by: chocolate chick on March 18, 2005, 11:01:46 am
Post by: goldencup on March 18, 2005, 11:04:14 am
Just be sure you pop it in the oven beforehand.
After you've 'slipped' on your oven gloves of course!
Post by: chocolate chick on March 18, 2005, 11:05:28 am
Has a sexy edge to it.......
Post by: on March 18, 2005, 05:09:07 pm
Some people are just not clever when it comes to grammar. I wouldn't say they were ignorant.
I meant ignorant in the sense of not having sufficient knowledge.
Post by: frooty on March 18, 2005, 05:31:27 pm
Post by: roxy on March 18, 2005, 05:36:07 pm
This's.
Post by: roxy on March 18, 2005, 05:45:16 pm
Post by: goldencup on March 19, 2005, 11:10:08 am
And how about those recipes that say something like, "Bake in the oven for 45 minutes." You go off and leave it, then come back three-quarters of an hour later to read the next instruction, which starts with the ominous word, "Meanwhile......" and find you should have been doing loads of other bits during this time!
Post by: roxy on March 19, 2005, 02:42:16 pm
Post by: smurfboy on March 21, 2005, 09:33:04 am
'Bake blind' is my favourite.What do you do, wear a bag over your head while you cook?
Post by: chocolate chick on March 21, 2005, 10:35:47 am
Post by: goldencup on March 22, 2005, 08:34:39 am
'Bake blind' is my favourite.What do you do, wear a bag over your head while you cook?
Unkind members of my family often suspect this to be the case!
Post by: aveit101 on March 22, 2005, 10:41:25 am
Post by: chocolate chick on March 22, 2005, 11:58:46 am
I'll sample a piece of the cake next time goldencup and let you knowPost by: loulou on March 22, 2005, 10:42:39 pm
Post by: smurfboy on March 23, 2005, 09:13:23 am
Post by: chocolate chick on March 23, 2005, 10:52:43 am
Post by: loulou on March 24, 2005, 10:49:13 pm
Post by: on March 25, 2005, 10:35:20 am
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on March 29, 2005, 02:41:26 pm
I contributed the pudding at my parent's Easter meal; a jelly and ice cream.
But my bunny shaped jelly mould went missing so we had a fish shaped jelly instead
Post by: smurfboy on March 29, 2005, 03:31:28 pm
Post by: on March 30, 2005, 05:34:26 pm
Post by: smurfboy on March 30, 2005, 06:05:54 pm
Post by: loulou on March 31, 2005, 12:23:01 am
Post by: oldspice on March 31, 2005, 04:22:38 pm
Post by: goldencup on April 02, 2005, 10:42:25 pm
I was doing a Google on Supermousse and came across this website which I thought might appeal to fans of the 'Things that annoy me' thread. It gave me a few giggles anyway. Hope the link works....
http://www.shartwell.freeserve.co.uk/humor-site/rant-of-the- day.htm
Post by: on April 02, 2005, 11:13:49 pm
If Bounty sees her kinky pics he will "pop"!
Post by: loulou on April 03, 2005, 12:23:34 am
Post by: goldencup on April 03, 2005, 10:56:14 am
If Bounty sees her kinky pics he will "pop"!
Whoops I didn't see the pics - just read the rants! I'll have to have another look now....
Post by: goldencup on April 03, 2005, 11:03:20 am
Post by: loulou on April 03, 2005, 09:15:05 pm
Post by: on April 03, 2005, 09:21:39 pm
Post by: oldspice on April 03, 2005, 09:35:45 pm
Post by: on April 03, 2005, 09:55:40 pm
Post by: loulou on April 04, 2005, 09:53:33 am