Post by: on October 26, 2007, 10:02:06 pm
Is it unrealistic to expect to know where your children are all the time? If I had children this age, apart from when at school when I would have to leave them in the care of teachers, I wouldn't let them leave the garden. I think 10 years of age is about when you can give them some responsibility, and by then hope that you have instilled enough sense in them to trust them not to go on busy roads.
Anyone got else got any feelings about this appalling accident?
Post by: on October 26, 2007, 10:16:49 pm
Last week my wife drove into our village and found him playing at the road side about half a mile from our house.
He had asked me to go out to play as usual 10 minutes previously, never having ever done this before.
He was grounded for a week.
What would you have done Bounty?
Life isn't black and white and kids aren't robots that you have complete control over no matter how much you would hope.
Post by: smurfboy on October 27, 2007, 12:39:27 am
I'm sorry, but some things are black and white.
Post by: oldspice on October 27, 2007, 09:39:33 am
When interviewed, the father of one of the boys said that the motorway was unfenced, and just yards from their back door. All the boys had to do was slide down a slope to get onto the road.
However, it was dark when the boys were hit. Now, up north, it gets dark a littel later than down here, and this means it must have been about 8pm or later when they were hit. I think this is far too late for children of this age to be out alone.
Having said this, I am deeply sorry for their parents, friends and relatives as this is a truly tragic event and, as Paulham said, you can take your eyes of them for a few minutes and they're gone.
Post by: on October 27, 2007, 12:34:53 pm
Being a kid at that age you don't tend to think first.
Post by: Logger on October 27, 2007, 01:18:40 pm
It's not the parents fault. I think it is reasonable for a six/seven year old to play out alone within reason and it certainly sounds like their homes were literally on top of this unfenced section of motorway.
However, I have a seven year old, a nine year old and a twelve year old myself and only my eldest is allowed out unsupervised and only on our estate. As a parent you have to take into account that curiosity can get the better of kids and they do, on occasion, just wander off.
In this situation, I don't believe the parents were at fault in any way but let's hope it makes others consider what their 6/7/8/9 year olds might get up to if left alone outside.
Post by: smurfboy on October 27, 2007, 01:27:59 pm
I grew up on a very busy road and was never allowed to walk down to the shops by myself until I was a lot older and responsible enough to be careful - and then certainly not after dark. Sometimes I was jealous of friends who could play out in the street and go off down the road, but I just had to learn that there were certain things you couldn't do where we lived.
Post by: oldspice on October 27, 2007, 01:51:26 pm
What a terrible ordeal it must have been for the emergency services to recover these little boys.
The motorway should have a high fence along this stretch if people are living nearby.
However, there is no way I would have let children of this age out alone on the dark. It is especially worrying as there were woods nearby that the children were apparently trying to reach.
Post by: Logger on October 27, 2007, 09:04:32 pm
Quote from: smurfboy
But you have to adapt to circumstances - if your home is 'literally on top' of an unfenced section of motorway, you don't let your kids play out anywhere near it!
Perhaps the parents thought the kids knew better than to go there. They must have been reasonably confident that their kids wouldn't stray that way or I doubt they would have let them out at all. An error of judgement but still an accident. It's very difficult as a parent to know what to do for the best sometimes...there is a lot of grey area.
Very sad anyway 
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 08:10:51 am
Quote from: Logger
It's not the parents fault. I think it is reasonable for a six/seven year old to play out alone within reason and it certainly sounds like their homes were literally on top of this unfenced section of motorway.
However, I have a seven year old, a nine year old and a twelve year old myself and only my eldest is allowed out unsupervised and only on our estate. As a parent you have to take into account that curiosity can get the better of kids and they do, on occasion, just wander off.In this situation, I don't believe the parents were at fault in any way but let's hope it makes others consider what their 6/7/8/9 year olds might get up to if left alone outside.
It is COMPLETELY the parents' fault. As I say, I'm not a parent, so maybe it's rocket science keeping young children off the streets?
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 08:13:28 am
Quote from: paulham
My 7 yr old is trusted with playing on our cul-de-sac. He knows the boundaries and we are the strictest on our street about time to come in and playing outside after dark.
Last week my wife drove into our village and found him playing at the road side about half a mile from our house.
He had asked me to go out to play as usual 10 minutes previously, never having ever done this before.
He was grounded for a week.
What would you have done Bounty?
Life isn't black and white and kids aren't robots that you have complete control over no matter how much you would hope.
It's not for me to sit in judgement of you Paulham, I'm sure you're an excellent parent, but it illustrates how easily these tragedies can happen. As you're asking, keep him in the garden and lock the gate until he knows what damage cars do to people.
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 08:21:05 am
Quote from: Logger
Quote from: smurfboyBut you have to adapt to circumstances - if your home is 'literally on top' of an unfenced section of motorway, you don't let your kids play out anywhere near it!Perhaps the parents thought the kids knew better than to go there. They must have been reasonably confident that their kids wouldn't stray that way or I doubt they would have let them out at all. An error of judgement but still an accident. It's very difficult as a parent to know what to do for the best sometimes...there is a lot of grey area.Very sad anyway
alt="Cry">
At six and seven most children are like irresponsible puppies and can't be trusted with anything. You might think they're listening to your instructions about safety but it just goes in one ear and out the other. At six, life is still a bit of a fantasy. Seven year olds have a bit more more nouse, but it's ONLY a bit and would be easily diminished in the presence of a younger friend.
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 10:08:05 am
[Youngsters are missing out on their childhood because we over-protect them, a child play expert claims.
A reluctance to let children take risks could stop them developing vital skills needed to protect themselves, he adds.]
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/7065124.stm
[A man has been killed trying to cross the M25 close to the Dartford Tunnel. ]
His mum should have kept him locked in his garden for the rest of his life as he didn't know, nor would ever learn the dangers associated with life.
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 11:10:23 am
Post by: smurfboy on October 28, 2007, 11:48:23 am
Quote from: paulham
[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7062545.stm[/url]
[Youngsters are missing out on their childhood because we over-protect them, a child play expert claims.
A reluctance to let children take risks could stop them developing vital skills needed to protect themselves, he adds.]
[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/7065124.stm[/url]
[A man has been killed trying to cross the M25 close to the Dartford Tunnel. ]
His mum should have kept him locked in his garden for the rest of his life as he didn't know, nor would ever learn the dangers associated with life.
Well one way children are certain to 'miss out on their childhood' is if they are mowed down by a car at the age of seven. As for the example of the man killed trying to cross the M25, he is an adult who made a stupid decision. We can't legislate for stupidity, but we can hope parents have the sense to not let their kids wonder about near dangerous roads.
Post by: oldspice on October 28, 2007, 11:56:26 am
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 01:46:25 pm
I'll say it again, it is not black and white.
Post by: Logger on October 28, 2007, 02:51:51 pm
Quote from: bounty hunter
At six and seven most children are like irresponsible puppies and can't be trusted with anything. You might think they're listening to your instructions about safety but it just goes in one ear and out the other. At six, life is still a bit of a fantasy. Seven year olds have a bit more more nouse, but it's ONLY a bit and would be easily diminished in the presence of a younger friend.
Yep, don't disagree with you here. It's very difficult when you have kids around this age because a lot of their same-age friends are allowed to play out unsupervised. It's a difficult one to call. I didn't let my kids out alone at that age but I felt very mean a lot of the time when their mates came to call!!!
That piece of motorway should definitely have been secured with family homes being situated nearby.
Post by: on October 28, 2007, 03:35:17 pm
Quote from: smurfboy
Quote from: paulham[url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7062545.stm[/url] [Youngsters are missing out on their childhood because we over-protect them, a child play expert claims. A reluctance to let children take risks could stop them developing vital skills needed to protect themselves, he adds.] [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/7065124.stm[/url] [A man has been killed trying to cross the M25 close to the Dartford Tunnel. ] His mum should have kept him locked in his garden for the rest of his life as he didn't know, nor would ever learn the dangers associated with life.Well one way children are certain to 'miss out on their childhood' is if they are mowed down by a car at the age of seven. As for the example of the man killed trying to cross the M25, he is an adult who made a stupid decision. We can't legislate for stupidity, but we can hope parents have the sense to not let their kids wonder about near dangerous roads.
Post by: oldspice on October 29, 2007, 06:31:42 am
Post by: on October 29, 2007, 07:18:00 am
An interesting theory
Post by: loulou on October 30, 2007, 10:31:12 pm
Post by: oldspice on October 31, 2007, 06:38:44 am
Post by: Logger on October 31, 2007, 07:15:10 pm
Quote from: oldspice
Yes, but never a motorway. However, I did know a girl who was killed aged 10, when she crossed the North Circular Road instead of using the underpass. She had forgotten her dinner money and returned home to get it. Then she realised she would be late for school, so she crossed the road because using the underpass would have taken two minutes longer. This was forty years ago and I still think about her.
That's really sad
I too knew somebody who was killed crossing the road (not even a particularly major road) when we were about 12. It was a real shock.