Post by: goldencup on May 27, 2006, 12:10:01 pm
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
"ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse o f the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
Post by: goldencup on May 27, 2006, 12:13:02 pm
And another one, although I expect most people have seen this as it's been doing the rounds for a few weeks.
The flag (consisting of a red cross on a white background) will be attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle.
For drivers of exceptionally low ability, additional flags are required to be shown. There is no upper limit to the number.
Post by: on May 27, 2006, 12:59:23 pm
The first one is very funny. However, there is serious side to the second one. If people were flying the Union Flag I could understand it. The flag of St. George on the other hand should be reserved for St. George's day. Waving it from cars is tribal nonesense.
Post by: oldspice on May 27, 2006, 01:22:37 pm
These are both very funny and I have seen them both before. Bounty's last post is much too serious. We will sport a small England car sticker this summer and enjoy the FUN of the World Cup.
Post by: smurfboy on May 27, 2006, 02:27:52 pm
Post by: loulou on May 27, 2006, 04:07:08 pm
Post by: Forth Bridges on May 27, 2006, 07:06:08 pm
Post by: loulou on May 27, 2006, 07:50:17 pm
Yes very true.
Post by: Forth Bridges on May 27, 2006, 07:54:28 pm
Post by: oldspice on May 27, 2006, 09:56:57 pm
Post by: on May 28, 2006, 10:02:32 am
The concept of race is a myth. At best it could be said to be inciting cultural hatred, but then the English were multi cultural before any people with different skin-colour came to these shores.
Post by: oldspice on May 28, 2006, 10:10:05 am
Post by: on May 28, 2006, 10:12:20 am
Post by: on May 28, 2006, 04:18:41 pm
I know plenty of people whose family background is Asian, West Indian or West African who would be proud to fly the English flag and see England do well in the World Cup.
Yes, but I bet you don't know too many Scots with the same view!
Post by: oldspice on May 28, 2006, 07:27:04 pm
Post by: on May 28, 2006, 07:54:15 pm
Sorry, that must have read smug.
It is nothing personal. Merely that Clive Tildsley is the biggest merchant banker around.
The other commentators aren't much better though.
If you happen to watch the World Cup listen to see how long it takes the commentator to mention England in a game outwith their group, which the result has no bearing on whether the teams will eventually meet England later in the tournament.
Post by: minty on May 30, 2006, 12:07:23 pm
Post by: Jules Grimm on May 30, 2006, 02:16:08 pm
been involved in travelling since i was a few months old so that was
brilliant.
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on May 30, 2006, 02:40:03 pm
News Flash from DVLAIn order to assist other motorists in identifying potentially dangerous drivers, it's now compulsory for anyone with a lower than average intelligence and driving ability to display a warning flag.
The flag (consisting of a red cross on a white background) will be attached to the top of at least one door of their vehicle.
For drivers of exceptionally low ability, additional flags are required to be shown. There is no upper limit to the number.
So many people have got these flags, I have seen some cars with 4 flags on the ferry in the mornings. I mean, these people would probably say the flags are for their kids but if so then why are they going to work with the flags still on their cars?
Post by: minty on June 01, 2006, 12:37:52 am
Post by: loulou on June 02, 2006, 03:06:32 pm
Post by: Cherry_Ripe on June 02, 2006, 04:57:08 pm
Who is the man in the photo cherry?
He is a bloke with a flag on his car! Just a pictorial example of the DVLA joke about flags.
Researchers have actually worked out that driving for an hour with one flag on the car costs a pound more in fuel because of the change to the aerodynamics.