I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough and through?
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird,
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead -
For goodness sake don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose -
Just look them up - and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward,
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart -
Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive!
I'd mastered it when I was five!
by Richard Krogh, in D Bolinger & D A Sears, Aspects of Language, 1981.
When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.
Lord Cromer, published in the Spectator of August 9th, 1902
One reason why I cannot spell,
Although I learned the rules quite well
Is that some words like 'coup' and 'through'
Sound just like 'threw' and 'flue' and 'who';
When 'oo' is never spelled the same,
The 'juice' becomes a guessing game;
And then I ponder over 'though',
Is it spelled 'so', or 'throw', or 'bow',
I mean the 'bow' that sounds like 'plow',
And not the 'bow' that sounds like 'row' -
The 'row' that is pronounced like 'roe'.
I wonder, too, why 'rough' and 'tough',
That sound the same as 'gruff' and 'muff',
Are spelled like 'bough' and 'though', for they
Are both pronounced a different way.
And why can't I spell 'trough' and 'cough'
The same as I do 'scoff' and 'golf'?
Why isn't 'drought' spelled just like 'route',
or 'doubt' or 'pout' or 'sauerkraut'?
When words all sound so much the same
To change the spelling seems a shame.
There is no sense - see sound like cents -
in making such a difference
Between the sight and sound of words;
Each spelling rule that undergirds
The way a word should look will fail
And often prove to no avail
Because exceptions will negate
The truth of what the rule may state;
So though I try, I still despair
And moan and mutter "It's not fair
That I'm held up to ridicule
And made to look like such a fool".
Vivian Buchan, NEA Journal 1966/67, USA
We must polish the Polish furniture.
Owe that eye mite bee that be
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