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Sometimes I feel the urge to cover myself in marmite. Does anyone else feel the same way?
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No I have no wish to cover you in marmite.
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I mean yourself. Would you like to be rubbed down with jam or cottage cheese?
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I mean yourself. Would you like to be rubbed down with jam or cottage cheese?
Well............you might not spot where the cottage cheese ended and the xxxxx started.
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I find most men like to be rubbed down with yogurt.
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Then spanked real hard whilst wearing a nappy.
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hazelnut variety?
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strawberry cos they like the feel off the pips.
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...and HOW do you feel off pips?
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They say that the pips feel nice and are a good exfoliater. I should know. I am in the business.
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of exfoliating?
Are you the singing detective?
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I do sing a lot actually. My stage name is Gloria De La Chardonnay. I am also a beautician.
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Gloria De La Chardonnay
You old soak
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Stop whining on.
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Good grief.
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lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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I have a band as well called the Chardonnites.
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i thought they were a black boy band from the 70s
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Hello Mr.Oldspice. How are you today?
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or something similar sounding anyway.......
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We're not wine wallers we are interested in chocolate.
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My group is white girls , a bit like the spice girls but classier.
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We're not wine wallers we are interested in chocolate.
What is a wine waller?
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Rik's drinkin buddy.
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What is a wine waller?
A term my grandad used for wine drinkers.
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Good one 
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kevvosa do you like wine?
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Not particularly.
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I only like white wine but I love all chocolate especially mars bar, milky way, aero, flake, flyte, smarties, snickers, walnut whip (not the nut), maltesers, chomp, texan, dime, yorkie, picnic, topic, ripple, crunchie, galaxy, kitkat, blue riband, breakaway, double decker, drifter, fruit and nut, whole nut, turkish delight, after eights, terry's chocolate ornage, black magic, milk tray, dairy box, celebrations, bounty, quality street, roses, matchmakers, m&m's, minstrels, boost, caramel, revels, curlywurly and miniature heroes.
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So you like all those especially?
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Don't you like twix then?
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Yes they are all my faves that I would have regularly.
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My group is white girls , a bit like the spice girls but classier.
That's kind of hard to picture
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Well they all have different coloured hair so I suppose that is why I say they are similar to the Spice Girls. They do not dress trashy though. They wear black suits with red waitcoats.
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So what colour is your hair Nightowl?
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My hair is black all over with a blonde fringe. Classy don't you think? I am lucky as my friend is a trainee hairdresser so I don't pay.
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Very nice!
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Thankyou.
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May I say, what a smashing blouse you're wearing.
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Who is wearing a blouse?
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Anyone who is a woman.
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I don't ever wear blouses.
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I don't tend to call them blouses, I can them shirts.
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Same here. shirts. blouses are what women over 65 wear.
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I am sure my nan would call them a blouse

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my mam calls them blouses
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My mum calls them shirts I think
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I wear blouses
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They really suit you. Don't you think lou?
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very stylish indeed.